ADHD & Emotional Intelligence: How it affects self-awareness and empathy

Join us in this enlightening episode of "Thriving with ADHD," where host Nada Pupovac explores the fascinating intersection of ADHD and emotional intelligence with Stefanie Solomon, PA-C. We explore how these elements intertwine to influence self-awareness and empathy. 

Stephanie, physician assistant at Animo Sano Psychiatry, brings her wealth of knowledge to the table, offering practical strategies for enhancing emotional intelligence in adults with ADHD. 

Discover how strengthening self-awareness and empathy can transform personal connections and emotional management. 

Whether you're navigating ADHD yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode is packed with valuable insights and actionable tips. 

Tune in to empower your emotional journey with ADHD.

Thank you for listening to Thriving with ADHD. This show is produced by Animo Sano Psychiatry. For more information about our clinic, please visit animosanopsychiatry.com. 

Animo Sano Psychiatry is constantly looking for the talent in behavioral health. If you are a psychiatrist, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, or mental health therapist, we'd love to hear from you. Visit our Careers pages to learn more about the available positions. https://animosanopsychiatry.com/careers/ 

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Welcome to Thriving With adhd, a podcast we'll share every day practical tips to thrive in life as an adult with adhd.  This podcast is brought to you by Animo Sano Psychiatry, a behavioral health practice with a specialist ADHD clinic based in North Carolina. And this is your host Nada Pupovac.

Welcome to Thriving with ADHD, dear ADHD community. Today, we are diving into ADHD and emotional intelligence, how it affects self awareness and empathy.  Our guest is Stephanie Solomon, physician assistant at AnimoSano Psychiatry, and with her expertise, Stephanie will share insights on enhancing self awareness.

and empathy for those with ADHD. Whether you're aiming to improve personal connections or emotional management, this episode has valuable takeaways for you.  As always, before we jump into this conversation, here is a bit more about Stephanie. Stephanie brings a unique combination Of educational and clinical experience to her role as a physician assistant, she is involved in all aspects of patient care, including taking detailed histories and physical exams, developing and implementing treatment plans  and prescribing medications.

Stephanie's commitment to providing comprehensive and compassionate care is evident in all that she does.

Stephanie, welcome back to Thriving with ADHD. We're always happy to have you. You're always full of knowledge and great tips, so I'm really, really thrilled to have you back. This time we are talking about ADHD and emotional intelligence. Very interesting topic, and I would really like to learn more about it.

And I'm sure everyone, uh, listening to the podcast, so.  Yeah. Welcome back.  Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Nada. Yeah. Uh, okay. Without further ado, uh, let's jump right into the first question. So  let's start from the scratch and from the beginning and explain the connection between ADHD and emotional intelligence and why is it important for people with ADHD to develop self awareness and empathy?

Sure.  Sure. So, well, while ADHD is often associated with. challenges and things like focus, impulsivity, and organization, there's a lesser known aspect that plays a significant role in the lives of those with ADHD, and that's emotional intelligence.  Developing emotional intelligence can help individuals with ADHD build resilience, improve communication, and enhance overall well being.

So in order to have emotional intelligence, you have to have emotional awareness, such as recognizing one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of other people, which is something people with ADHD might struggle with. Additionally,  self awareness isn't just about recognizing emotions, but understanding how those feelings manifest in our bodies and direct future thoughts and actions.

For individuals with ADHD, this may involve a more conscious effort in practice. Also, emotional regulation is a key component of emotional intelligence. Um, so for people with ADHD, emotional regulation can be particularly challenging due to impulsivity and emotional hypersensitivity. Um, ADHD can significantly impact the ability to manage emotions effectively, leading to sudden mood swings, getting easily frustrated and difficulty calming down.

Um, with regard to  Self awareness and the capacity for empathy,  well, these are foundational components of emotional intelligence, but both abilities might be compromised in individuals with ADHD. People with ADHD often have brains that move very quickly, which can lead to lower levels of awareness. of self awareness. 

ADHD disrupts one's ability to generate accurate awareness and regulate one's thinking and actions. ADHD and related executive function challenges actually inhibit our ability to build awareness and ultimately boost emotional intelligence.  Self awareness gives us the opportunity to explore our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors with curiosity and compassion.

That helps us identify areas that require examination. Self examination involves a deep dive into our inner selves, confronting our fears, limitations, and patterns of behavior. It's about asking ourselves the tough questions and being honest with our answers.  By acknowledging their strengths, limitations, and emotional triggers, ADHD individuals can better understand how their neurodiversity impacts their emotions and behavior.

Self awareness allows you to develop effective coping strategies, recognize patterns of behavior, and make informed decisions to manage ADHD symptoms more effectively. With respect to empathy, empathy complements this by allowing us to extend this self awareness to others. When we can identify and understand the emotions of those around us, we're better equipped to respond appropriately.

For adults with ADHD, empathetic responses can positively impact personal relationships.  Help people to navigate social interactions more effectively and foster a supportive environment.  Empathy helps individuals with ADHD understand how their actions affect others, allowing them to foster deeper and more meaningful relationships. 

Additionally, having empathy reduces misunderstandings and encourages collaboration. So, by recognizing others emotions and perspectives, one can avoid social conflicts and build mutual understanding.  And it can also help people work better in group settings, as they can consider the needs and feelings of others while contributing to shared goals. 

 Thanks for sharing that. And maybe we can go further with the role of empathy and what are some practical ways to enhance empathy despite the emotional challenges that people with ADHD may face?  Well, people with ADHD can experience, experience challenges with empathy due to the way their brains process attention, emotions, and social cues.

However, this doesn't mean that they lack empathy. It often reflects difficulties with regulation and focus. The intense emotions and overwhelm that can accompany ADHD may make it hard to focus on another person's emotional experience. Because of things like impulsivity and distractibility,  Someone with ADHD might interrupt someone or have trouble paying attention to conversation, which may make it seem like they don't care what the other person is saying.

They may have a harder time seeing the other person's perspective, which is crucial in having empathy. At times, individuals with ADHD can become so preoccupied with their own thoughts, feelings, or challenges that they unintentionally overlook others emotional needs. And this isn't due to a lack of care, but a result of the brain's tendency to prioritize internal stimuli over external ones.

So empathy isn't absent in ADHD, it just may be hard for them to express their empathy. But with awareness and intentional effort, individuals with ADHD can strengthen their ability to connect and respond empathetically. Some ways that people with ADHD can enhance empathy include things like Practicing active listening.

Focusing on what the other person is saying without thinking about your response. You can show you're listening simply by nodding and maintaining eye contact and showing curiosity about the other person's feelings by asking clarifying questions. Reflect back what the other person said to confirm understanding.

So, so you could say, so what you're saying is, um, ask open ended questions. So instead of  Are you okay? You can say, how are you feeling about this situation? Asking open ended questions is a great way to develop empathy because it encourages deeper conversations, helps people feel heard and provides a clear understanding of others, emotions, and perspectives.

Um, it encourages people to express their thoughts and feelings in greater detail.  When people explain their experiences, it helps you step into their shoes and understand their emotions, struggles, and viewpoints. You can also build empathy by validating other people's concerns and feelings. Validating someone's emotions means acknowledging and accepting their feelings as real and important, even if you don't necessarily agree or fully understand their experience.

You can say something like, I see why that would be upsetting for you, or I can see why you would feel that way when someone feels Genuinely heard and understood, they build trust and deeper emotional connections. Avoid rushing to give advice. Sometimes people just want to be heard. If they ask for advice, ask clarifying questions before responding.

Offering reassurance and support can show that you are there for them and that they're not alone. So simply saying, I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone.  Also, Focusing on other nonverbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language can help to understand how that person is feeling.

Stay present when in conversation with someone by minimizing distractions. You can turn off your phone or ask to have the conversation in a quiet private place. Imagine other, other perspectives by asking yourself, how would I feel in their situation and allow yourself to be open to different perspectives by engaging with people from diverse backgrounds and experiences, reading books, watching movies, or listening to podcasts that showcase different worldviews. 

Recognize that your perspective is limited and you might not have the full picture of what someone else is going through and your own, your own experiences aren't necessarily universal, but also reflect on your own experiences. So think about the times when you felt misunderstood and use that memory to remind yourself how important it is to feel heard.

And ask yourself, how would I want someone to respond to me? And lastly, acts of kindness and compassion towards others reflects  and strengthens empathy. So kind gestures like checking in on someone or offering a hug, or simply listening, reinforce that the other person's feelings matter. Bringing coffee to a tired coworker or sending an encouraging text to a friend before a big event shows thoughtful empathy.

And being kind just doesn't help others, it helps you stay emotionally balanced and connected. Acts of kindness activate the brain's reward system, reinforcing positive social connections.  That's fantastic. And  I would say this apply to everyone and not just to people with ADHD. And thank you for these great reminders to being open and staying kind to each other.

That's, that's, I love it. I love it. It's fantastic. So we can't just  acquire emotional , today to serve us tomorrow. So we have to have these building blocks from early age. So. What advice would you offer to parents and educators to support children and adolescents,  to develop emotional intelligence, um, as a skill from the young age? 

Yeah, well, parents and educators play a vital role in helping children develop emotional intelligence, um, by creating a supportive environment and teaching specific skills, they can empower children to understand, express and manage their emotions while fostering empathy and healthy relationships.  Um, since emotional regulation and awareness are components of emotional intelligence, focus on helping them to understand emotions.

Many children with ADHD find it hard to understand feelings. We can help them to understand others feelings by helping them to understand their own feelings. So help them identify their feelings by giving names to emotions like happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or excited. Using visuals such as emotion charts or a feeling thermometer.

can make abstract emotions easier to understand. Doing emotion check ins where the parent or teacher begins the day with a quick activity where the children share how they're feeling.  Reading books about emotions that show characters navigating feelings and then discuss the scenarios. or share real life situations where you felt, felt strong emotions and explain how you manage them.

Teachers can discussion, discuss emotions and context by incorporating discussions about feelings into daily lessons. So they can say, how do you think this character felt in the story? They can even role play with the child. So acting out scenarios and practice recognizing and responding to different feelings. 

Children can also build emotional awareness by connecting emotions to physical sensations. Teach children to notice body signals that come with emotions. So, for example, when I'm angry, my fists clench, or when I'm nervous, my tummy feels tight.  Additionally, normalizing emotions by reiterating that Having emotions, whether positive or negative, is natural and not a bad thing.

So when children learn that their feelings aren't wrong or bad. It reduces self criticism and fosters self acceptance. It will allow them to recognize their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. If they understand that everyone experiences difficult emotions and that, um, emotions are temporary, they'll be less likely to get overwhelmed and have an easier time working through the challenges. 

For example, when a child learns that feeling frustrated is normal, they're less likely to feel ashamed and more likely  to say, I'm frustrated because this is hard for me. Um, this creates a pathway to finding solutions instead of shutting down. So by helping children with ADHD understand their feelings, adults empower them with lifelong emotional tools, fostering better relationships.

self regulation and resilience. Um, also adults can teach children about compassion and empathy by practicing it themselves. Children look to adults for cues on how to act around others.  So celebrate others successes. Show children what it looks like to listen without interrupting or being distracted. So, by putting away your phone during conversations.

Summarize or restate what they say to show you understand. So, for example, you could say, It sounds like you had a really tough day.  And also explain individuality and uniqueness by telling them about how one situation can be viewed in different ways by different people. And emphasize  that each person sees the world differently.

Teachers can expose students to diverse perspectives with books, videos, or guest speakers to teach about different cultures, experiences, and viewpoints. And then ask reflective questions. Say things like, how do you think they felt when that happened? Or what could we do to make them feel better? This will help to encourage their taking other people's perspectives. 

Excellent. Any advice for. Grown ups, what we as grown ups can do, are there any specific tools, techniques, therapies that you would recommend that can help people with ADHD to improve their emotional intelligence?  Well, I think it would start with naming and recognizing your emotions, whether positive  Um, to improve self awareness. 

You can do this by writing down how you're feeling or journaling. Journaling helps with self awareness by providing a structured way to explore thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Um, when you stop and reflect on your experiences, you can better identify not only your emotions, but help you identify patterns or recurring themes or triggers, leading to a deeper understanding of yourself.

Putting emotions into words makes them easier to understand and manage. Looking back at past journal entries can show how you've grown or how your thought patterns have evolved. It also helps identify progress in areas where you've been working to improve or change. Um, try to recognize your triggers for both, both positive and negative emotional states.

as it helps you understand your emotional patterns. Triggers reveal why you react in certain ways. So noticing what sets off things like frustration, anxiety, or anger can help you connect your emotions to specific situations. When you know your triggers, you can pause before reacting emotionally. So, for example, if criticism from others makes you defensive, recognizing this can help you regain control and respond thoughtfully instead of impulsively.

Recognizing triggers helps you shift from self judgment to self understanding. So, instead of thinking, why am I like this? You learn to say, I react this way because of X and I can manage it better practicing  mindfulness techniques. So there's a number of mindfulness methods that can help ground us in the present moment and alleviate anxiety.

Each works to direct our attention away from thoughts of the past or future concerns and encourages us to concentrate on elements of the here and now. So, take a pause. As I mentioned, developing emotional intelligence starts with developing self awareness, and awareness begins with a pause. So pausing for self awareness means intentionally taking a moment to stop and focus on your own internal state, allowing you to better understand your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations in the present moment,  thereby increasing your self awareness.

This practice is so simple. It helps you to react less impulsively. Make more conscious decisions, regulate your emotions, and better understand your own needs and responses to situations. Pausing can be as simple as taking a few minutes of quiet time each day to be alone with our thoughts, or it can be more of an intentional act of taking a break from our routine and disconnecting from distractions. 

Cultivating emotional intelligence involves learning the red flags of upcoming strong emotions or emotional overwhelm, then attempting to catch it early. So, You can pause before reacting. So take a deep breath. When you feel triggered or overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths to create a pause and check in with yourself.

Ask yourself questions like, how am I feeling right now? Or what thoughts are running through my mind? Observe your body sensations. So notice any physical tension or changes in your body that might be related to your emotions. Um, in today's fast paced world, it can be challenging to know when and how to pause, but it's through pausing that we create the opportunity for self examination and personal growth. 

If you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed, carve out time for regular reflection. Set aside dedicated, dedicated time each day or week to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  And this can be through journaling, meditation, or simply being present with yourself without distractions.  Improve your self awareness by asking yourself tough questions, like what fears are holding you back?

What beliefs or patterns of behavior are keeping you stuck? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Reflecting on these questions can help you gain clarity and insight into yourself. Commit to a daily intention. Set an intention in the morning, then reflect on the experience at the end of the day. What made it successful and what got in the way? 

And after you've developed self awareness, you then want to recognize the emotions of other people.  I mentioned earlier about empathy and observing people in their external cues, such as their facial expressions, mannerisms, behaviors, and listening to others with the intention to understand or without judgment. 

When you pay attention to how others feel, you build self awareness. and emotional intelligence. It encourages you to reflect on your own emotions and reactions in similar situations. It also helps us examine our own emotional responses and biases, as well as helps to understand our own emotional patterns.

So for example, if a coworker seems withdrawn after receiving feedback, recognizing their discomfort might help you reflect on how you and  whether you react similarly.  Um, so being aware of others emotions fosters greater mindfulness in how we react. It helps us pause and choose responses that align with our values and emotional goals.

Um, what's more, recognizing emotions in others makes you more compassionate towards yourself. You realize that everyone struggles with emotions, making it easier to give yourself grace instead of Self criticize. And you might judge yourself less harshly over, um, something you've experienced that is similar to the other person. 

Exactly. Okay, so for me,  , lesson from this, , session is to pause,  to build awareness. So I love that. But if you would like to emphasize anything from this episode that you would like our listeners to take away from it, what that would be.  I would say that if you struggle with self awareness and empathy, just know that these are things that can be developed and strengthened with  practice.

Remember that just because you struggle with showing empathy to others doesn't mean you lack empathy. So check in with yourself from time to time to better identify with and have compassion for others and for yourself and just know that you aren't alone in these struggles.  Thank you so much, Stephanie.

Yeah. I, I loved so many bits from this episode. I will definitely go back to listening and just capturing all the details. So thank you so much. , I'm glad to always to have you back. So thank you so much once again.  No problem.

Thank you.



Thank you for listening to Thriving with adhd. This show is produced by Animo Sano Psychiatry. Please follow, rate or share our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or any other streaming app of your choice. Music is by Daddy's Music music from Pixabay. For more information about Animo Sano Psychiatry, please visit animosanopsychiatry.com